Three Comforting Things To Tell You’re Children During a Divorce

If you are going through a divorce, there are three things you can tell your children to reassure them and help them cope with the changes in their lives:

1. This is not your fault:  Children often believe they did something that caused the decision to divorce, like misbehaving or merely wishing their parents would separate in order to stop the fighting.  Children’s ego-centrism, magical thinking and inability to clearly see cause and effect, often lead children to believe they are responsible for their parents’ behavior.

2. There is nothing you can do to change this: Children think that if they just behave better, their parents would get along better.  Again, this has to do with children’s misconceptions about how the world and adult relationships operate and their feelings of responsibility for their parents’ unhappiness.

3. You will always be cared for: Once you reassure children that the divorce is not their doing and therefore they can’t undo it, then it’s important to reassure them that everything’s going to be okay, that you both still love them and that you’ll always be there for them. Then they don’t have to worry about you, they can just be children.


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